How to Calm Down from Extreme Emotions in 30 Seconds

“Anyone can hold the helm when the sea is calm.” – Publilius Syrus

This week I attended a 2-day workshop on emotion regulation in Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), conducted by DBT’s creator, Dr. Marsha Linehan.  The past two days (along with a thick binder) have been filled with copious amounts of information on specific skills for effectively regulating emotions.  While some of the information received was part of Dr. Linehan’s currently unpublished updated DBT Skills Training Manual (and is not permitted to be distributed to the public), there were many useful tips and insights that I am able to share with you.

One particularly useful/practical tip learned today has to do with managing extreme emotions when emotional arousal is very high.  When we are in a state of extreme emotional arousal, our brains do not function properly to effectively take in new information and process it.  It is as if we are so overwhelmed with emotions having to do with the current stressful situation that we are truly incapable of using any DBT skills (e.g., distress tolerance or emotion regulation skills).

How to Activate the Mammalian Diving Reflex

In order to get ourselves to a place of being capable of processing information, we must find a way to essentially “reset” the nervous system.  Fortunately, all mammals have something called the “mammalian diving reflex” that forces the parasympathetic nervous system (PNS) to kick in, which functions to relax us and calm us down.

Dr. Linehan explained that this reflex is activated by icy cold water (i.e., not freezing) on the face.  In particular, the icy cold water must hit the parts of the face just below the eyes and above the cheekbones for the dive reflex to be activated.  She suggests that when in an extremely heightened state of emotional arousal:

  • Fill a bowl with icy cold water
  • Bend/lean over
  • Hold your breath
  • Put face in icy cold water for 30 seconds
  • Make sure that area underneath eyes/above cheekbones (most sensitive part of the face) feels the icy water

Dr. Linehan reports that this surprisingly simple technique will “calm you down immediately” and is “incredibly effective.”  Other ways to activate the diving reflex and get the parasympathetic nervous system to kick in and calm you down include an icy cold gel mask over/around the eye area.  It is worth noting that this technique also works best (to activate the dive reflex) if you hold your breath and bend over for 30 seconds.


Caveats to using this technique:

  • Activating the dive reflex slows the heart rate, so anyone with heart problems or a slow heartbeat should avoid this strategy
  • Those with eating disorders (particularly anorexia nervosa) should avoid activating the dive reflex, as this is dangerous for the heart

Not convinced that something so simple could be so powerfully effective?  Evolutionary processes have existed for thousands of years to provide means of regulating our emotions, since effective regulation of emotion is so vital to our survival. Consider how likely a person is to survive over the long-term if they are utterly incapable of calming themselves down when in an intense state of emotional arousal.

An incredible part of this simple technique is that it provides immediate relief and is intended to get you into a functional state of mind where you are capable of using problem-solving skills to solve the intense problem at hand.  The next time that you experience an event so intense that you are completely overwhelmed to the point of not being able to think clearly or process information, activate the diving reflex.  Thirty seconds later, you will be able to process incoming information and use problem-solving skills.

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Linehan, M. (June 6-7, 2011). Updates to emotion regulation and crisis survival skills in dialectical behavior therapy. Austin, TX: Behavior Tech, LLC.

Featured image: The tube by sub_lime79 / CC BY 2.0

About Laura K. Schenck, Ph.D., LPC

I am a Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC) with a Ph.D. in Counseling Psychology from the University of Northern Colorado. Some of my academic interests include: Dialectical Behavior Therapy, mindfulness, stress reduction, work/life balance, mood disorders, identity development, supervision & training, and self-care.


  1. Charlene Ruth Ferras on February 19, 2012 at 9:27 pm

    Extreme Emotions may lead us to do something that we never imagined of, and ’twas great that there is such thing, the dive/ diving reflex that will help people control their extreme negative emotions in just 30seconds and in just a snap of the hand. Well,I haven’t try it, but I think it’s possible since many blogger believed in it and maybe experienced it. 🙂 <3

  2. khimberly neo on March 16, 2012 at 8:33 am

    i just wanna say that having a over emotion or having a extremely emotions was very had we need to balance every emotions and feelings that come out of us.
    every emotions that are over reacting must be change by that person or else it has a bad effect specially the loneliness and sadness.

    • Laura on April 15, 2012 at 8:17 pm

      Khimberly – Intense or extreme emotions can certainly result in a sense of feeling off balance. A wonderful resource and practice for actively cultivating that balance between various emotions is learning how to practice entering into “wise mind” (an important part of Dialectical Behavior Therapy – DBT). Please let me know if I can answer any questions that you may have regarding managing intense emotions (or any other related topic to the site). Thank you for your comment.

  3. anon on April 14, 2013 at 6:55 am

    this is well known fact to every freediver.

    your diving reflex will kick in even quicker and stronger if you do negative breath hold – that is on active exhale.

  4. Jacob on November 3, 2018 at 11:47 pm

    I suffer from anxiety and emotional disorders and thought I would try this. It helped me calm down so much!!! Almost instantly! It was almost euphoric. Thank you!!! I will do this every day!

  5. Sandra Leigh on October 5, 2019 at 11:36 am

    Way back in the day, people would throw a glass of cold water in your face if you were having a panic attack or otherwise irrational. It worked, although I’m sure they didn’t know how or why!

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