Interpersonal Relationships with friends, coworkers, loved ones, and people in general are impacted by many factors. In any interpersonal exchange, each party brings their own unique set of qualities, expectations, and interaction style to the table. Relationships can develop naturally, effortlessly, and harmoniously in some cases. Other times relationships can form based on an intense interpersonal connection… and some relationships don’t occur at all. A vital component to creating meaningful, respectful, and authentic relationships with others involves taking responsibility for your own behaviors and expectations. When you begin to realize that the only person’s behavior you can truly “control” is your own, freedom and tranquility are within reach. It is possible to become mindfully aware of your personal style of interacting with others through being open to feedback without defensiveness, willing to alter or let go of maladaptive behaviors, and reasonably flexible in making compromises.

In any relationship, be it a friendship or marriage, no one is going to get “all” of their needs met “all” of the time; to believe this deprives each person of the opportunity to learn and grow within the context of a relationship. There are many skills and strategies that can be learned and employed within relationships to increase harmony, decrease conflict, and reach compromises. The trick is to make the choice to put them into practice in the moment. By becoming more mindfully connected with the present moment, it is possible to increase awareness of times when maladaptive interpersonal patterns are occurring. Mindful awareness provides the space for you to choose your behaviors with greater intention and do your part to achieve a positive outcome. Interactions with others won’t always go smoothly, but there is peace in knowing that you have the freedom to choose how you will engage with others.

10 Simple Truths to Maintain a Healthy Relationship

“The giving of love is an education in itself.” – Eleanor Roosevelt Relationships have the capacity to provide us with emotional support, nurturance, friendship, and love.  The very same relationships are also capable of causing emotional distress, deprivation, and loneliness.  The difference between those two types of relationships is that the healthy relationship rests upon…

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Top 10 Obstacles to Listening

“We have two ears and one mouth so that we can listen twice as much as we speak.” – Epictetus Listening is much more than just a passive process of receiving information – it is active. When we choose to listen actively, we seek to fully understand what it is that the other person is…

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Identify 8 Obstacles to Interpersonal Effectiveness

“Whenever you’re in conflict with someone, there is one factor that can make the difference between damaging your relationship and deepening it.  That factor is attitude.” – William James No matter how skilled we are in navigating our social worlds, obstacles or blocks to interpersonal effectiveness are bound to arise from time to time.  When…

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Turning Toward vs. Turning Away

“Piglet sidled up to Pooh from behind. ‘Pooh!’ he whispered.  ‘Yes, Piglet?’  ‘Nothing,’ said Piglet, taking Pooh’s paw.  ‘I just wanted to be sure of you.’” – A.A. Milne In relationships, most of us find it a comfort to know that the other person is “there.”  But what does this really mean?  What is it…

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Identify 6 Key Interpersonal Skills

“Man is a knot into which relationships are tied.” – Antoine de Saint-Exupéry Relationships are inextricably linked to human life.  We depend on one another for connection, meaning, and a sense of purpose.  While developing one’s core sense of identity and self-sufficiency are invaluable to our development into strong dynamic adults, we are not separate…

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6 Loving Relationship Agreements

In yesterday’s post, 5 Loving Relationship Assumptions, we learned about how to build a solid relationship foundation upon a few basic assumptions.  While these loving relationship assumptions are a wonderful place to begin to come together as a couple, we need explicit agreements between ourselves and our partners about how to put these assumptions into…

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5 Loving Relationship Assumptions

Sometimes it is easy to forget what brings us together in relationships when problems arise.  When they do occur, it is important to remain united as a couple against what Dr. John Gottman, world renowned marriage/relationship researcher and therapist, calls the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse.  Sounds scary, doesn’t it?  These four unhealthy communication styles…

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4 Relationship Myths

In a healthy relationship, we are able to ask for what we need without a paralyzing fear of conflict or of the potential reaction of the other person.  This is far easier said than done.  It can be scary to assert ourselves in a relationship, exposing our authentic vulnerable selves to another human being.  While…

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